I did it! I made it through the 30 Day Blogging Challenge mostly unscathed.

Honestly, it wasn’t as hard as I was expecting. It’s interesting how when you get intro a rhythm and a daily habit, things become easier.

When I started, I had a bunch of ideas for articles, which helped to build momentum in the first week. But as the challenge went on, my articles became more of a reflection on my daily experiences and lessons.

Some articles I’m super proud of, others not so much. But hey, I managed to get them out, which was the most important part.

Here’s a list of all the articles I published:

Day 1: The 30 Day Blogging Challenge
Day 2: How I got a refund from Lyft…with a single tweet
Day 3: What living next to a demolition site taught me about empathy
Day 4: Why you need constraint in your life
Day 5: My Thoughts On The American Dining Experience
Day 6: 16 Things I’ve Done So Far In 2016
Day 7: You don’t have to be great to get started
Day 8: “So Christina, what do you actually do?”
Day 9: Has writing for business killed my creative mojo?
Day 10: The 3 triggers that changed my life
Day 11: My top 5 non-pretentious Melbourne cafes
Day 12: What Rainbow Serpent taught me about life
Day 13: Facebook: to friend or not to friend?
Day 14: How to be Filipino
Day 15: How I work
Day 16: How I generate ideas
Day 17: “It’s not a tumor!” and other movie lines I never understood until now
Day 18: How to take the next step – even if you don’t feel ‘ready’
Day 19: Today I embrace the struggle
Day 20: How do you ‘show up’ in life?
Day 21: Lessons learned from blogging every day for 21 days
Day 22: Morgan Freeman doesn’t give a shit…and neither should you
Day 23: My personal word crimes
Day 24: Two types of people
Day 25: Why we get addicted (and how to change it)
Day 26: My thoughts on minimalism
Day 27: Small hinges swing big doors
Day 28: Gaining perspective on my morning commute
Day 29: How to do the important stuff you “don’t have time for”
Day 30: Be aware of your blind spots

This week I was speaking to a good friend of mine who is doing really well in her job, but it’s not what she wants to be doing forever.

She has other interests she’s considering as potential career, but lacks the time to give it any attention.

“I’ve got all these books I want to read about finance and investing,” she told me, “which is what I’m really interested in, but my work is so stressful that by the time I get home, it’s late and my brain has turned to mush. The last thing I feel like doing is reading a book!”

This is a classic example of how most of our attention is often focused on the “urgent and important” stuff that comes up during the day. Emails, phone calls, clients, work deadlines, demanding bosses, etc all scream for our immediate attention. But if you think about it — in the long run, are they really “important”?

Now think about all the stuff that’s really important to you and your long term health and happiness.

It could be: a meaningful career, getting fit and healthy, going to the dentist, writing a book, taking up photography, spending quality time with your partner, calling your mum or travelling the world.

But how much time do you actually dedicate to these things?

Seriously, in the last 24 hours, how much time did you spend doing stuff that’s not urgent, but really important to you? And how much time did you spend doing ‘urgent’ stuff that’s really important to other people?

And this doesn’t just relate to people working 9-5. I go through the same thing in my business. It’s very easy for me to fill my day doing voice overs, writing emails, doing the podcast, preparing for meetings and presentations etc, which is all urgent and important stuff.

But the things that are really important to me include: writing in this blog, writing a book, creating online courses, going to hip hop classes, playing ukulele and spending more time with friends and family.

Now the problem is, it is SO EASY to push aside the important stuff. We tell ourselves we’ll get to it “someday”. And then decades later, we wonder why we still haven’t done all those things we wanted to do, and why we dedicated our lives to other people’s demands instead.

How you can fix it

I listened to a great podcast episode of the Good Life Project where host Jonathan Fields says:

“Do your work first before responding to the world.”

I also heard a similar mentality from Brendon Burchard on this episode on discipline. And I love this approach. Both Fields and Burchard suggest you work out what’s important to you, and then MAKE TIME for that thing FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

Maybe you only have 30 minutes, maybe you have an hour — but you must do that thing FIRST before you allow yourself to be bombarded with emails, phone calls, demands, deadlines etc.

This is why I do my creative work first thing in the morning. I try to not look at email, my phone or social media before midday, because I know that if I do, I’ll spend the rest of my day responding and being reactive. And by the time I’ve dealt with all that, my brain is too mushy to get any quality creative work done.

So if you work 9-5, I highly recommend you get up earlier and spend that first part of your day doing your one important thing. Maybe it’s quietly reading a book, or going for a run, or writing for 30 minutes. Think about it as your ‘sacred morning time’.

And once you’ve done that, you can go about the rest of your day doing all your ‘busywork’, happily knowing that you’ve still done something for yourself that day.

And at work, get into the habit of NOT checking your email first thing. Block out that first hour, or two hours, to do the important project work undisturbed. Go hide in a meeting room if you have to. Those emails can wait, believe it or not.

The more you practice this, the more of a habit it will become. Then, those ‘someday’ things will finally become ‘today things’.

And how amazing is that :)

 

Yesterday I had a meeting in the city at 9.00am.

This is unusual for me, as I prefer to work from cafes in the morning, and then head to the city for meetings in the afternoon.

But 9.00am it was, and the Public Transport Victoria app told me the quickest way there was by train (my normal tram would have taken me to the wrong end of the city).

So I boarded the train at Elsternwick Station, the first time I’d been on a peak hour train in, oh, I don’t know…six months? It was about half full, but quickly filled up as we approach the city. At Richmond Station, I had to switch trains.

I power walked up to platform 5, and as I stood on the platform, pressed shoulder-to-shoulder with about 300 other commuters, I thought to myself ‘I don’t miss this at all’.

The train arrived and we crammed ourselves into the carriage. Most people were dressed in all black, their faces sullen as they blankly stared at their various forms of electronic devices, earphones tightly plugged in.

Once we arrived at Melbourne Central, I moved with the mass of people off the train, up the escalators and through the ticket gates, making sure I moved at the same pace so as not to disrupt the flow.

It was only once I was out of the station in the fresh air that I could breathe freely. The peak hour train experience was claustrophobic and oppressive.

And I realised: I used to do this every single day.

The experience gave me real perspective on my lifestyle now.

My morning ‘commute’ is a 5 minute walk to a cafe. There’s no timetable, no crowds, and no delays (unless I decide to sleep in). And yes, it does take me a good 30-40 minutes to commute to the city, but it’s usually around 11am when the trams are mostly empty. Getting a seat is not a problem — and I have the space to work on my laptop.

For a while now, I’ve taken it for granted. I’d almost forgotten how soul sucking I found the peak hour train commute to be, and having a taste of it again made me grateful for my ability to choose when and where I work.

The lesson

Any time you have a negative experience, instead of complaining about it, use it as ‘gratitude fuel’ to appreciate all the positives in your life.

Maybe you injure yourself and can’t run for a month. When you’re better, you’ll appreciate those morning runs so much more! Maybe you end a bad relationship. You’ll appreciate the next person’s good traits more. Or maybe you travel overseas and see people living in poverty. You’ll appreciate this fucking incredible country called Australia infinitely more.

And when you are grateful and appreciate what you have, that’s when you can start being more content, happy and fulfilled.

And your fellow peak hour commuters will wonder what the hell is wrong with you ;)

 

 

This is a follow up post to my article on minimalism.

My boyfriend Aaron and I live in a very small apartment. Which is fine (I don’t mind small spaces), except that Aaron has a lot of stuff. In particular, he has a lot of shoes. His shoe collection could rival that of Imelda Marcos.

There are shoes in the bedroom.

Shoes in the hallway.

And shoes in the kitchen.

The only thing that bothered me about storing shoes in the kitchen was they took up valuable space — space that could accommodate a dining table. Aaron agreed we needed more space, and told me of his plans to build a giant shoe rack for the hallway to get the shoes out of the kitchen.

You know how some guys are super handy, love building things, and salivate when they go to the DIY section at the hardware store? Aaron’s not one of them.

But he is resourceful, and went to Bunnings to ask the staff if they could help him to cut pieces of timber and drill holes in them. However, he discovered that complimentary custom furniture construction was no longer a service they offered (apparently they used to do this, until they realised it wasn’t profitable. Go figure.)

His next plan was to ask a friend to build it for him, but like many of those DIY home projects, I had a feeling it would be a very long time before it would get done.

Then over the weekend, we visited the new home of one of my friends. He happened to have an Ikea display cabinet that (to me) was the perfect fit for Aaron’s shoes. I went on Gumtree, found the same unit for less than half the price, and we picked it up that night.

We got home and set it up, and Aaron was able to move about a dozen pairs of shoes out of the kitchen.

With the shoes gone, he then started clearing everything else out from the cluttered display unit.

There were books and piles of paperwork. There were trinkets, toys and board games. There was a whole bunch of North Melbourne footy club paraphernalia, including a stuffed kangaroo mascot, two jerseys and multiple deflated footballs. As we dug deeper, we discovered an unused wine rack, a set of golf clubs, dusty vintage Schweppes bottles and a half-inflated exercise ball.

We dragged it all out. I couldn’t believe how much stuff he’d been able to cram into such a small space.

We moved the empty storage unit into the lounge room and quarter-filled it with items we wanted to keep. Everything else went into a donation pile.

The next day, Aaron got rid of the donation items, reorganised the remaining storage space and cleaned the whole kitchen. I came home and it was like walking into Cloud Cuckoo Land. I could barely recognise the kitchen. It looked fucking unbelievable!

And all because of one measly shoe rack.

There’s a saying that goes: “small hinges swing big doors”.

You can take it to mean different things, but to me it suggests sometimes you need only a small trigger, or one small event, to kick off something much much bigger.

It’s incredible how a seemingly small thing like getting one shoe rack triggered an avalanche of decluttering momentum. All the stuff that had been sitting there for years was gone in a matter of hours. And what seemed like a huge, laborious task became easier, simply by getting started with one thing — the shoes.

So if you’re putting off something because it seems like an enormous, unsurmountable task — pick ONE thing to start with. And just start. That’s how you build the momentum to achieve extraordinary results.

Postscript: I couldn’t have been prouder of Aaron — after all, it’s not easy parting with your stuff. He took a big step; and he is proof that you CAN let go of your stuff 

Ever since I started travelling with carry-on bags only, I’ve become a bit of a minimalist.

And by ‘minimalist’ I mean I don’t like having ‘stuff’ for the sake of having it. I’d rather have fewer things and cherish them more, than liking a lot of stuff only little bit, or not at all. I used to be this way with Facebook friends too — I had a 300 friend maximum limit, but that went out the door (as you may remember from this post).

Why am I am minimalist advocate?

1. Excess stuff drags you down — physically AND emotionally.

Don’t believe me? You know that nice ‘light’ feeling you have when you walk into your kitchen or bedroom and everything is beautiful, clean and clutter-free? And by contrast, when you walk into a room and things are a mess, you can barely see the carpet and there is stuff stacked everywhere, you feel claustrophobic and that you can’t think clearly? That’s emotional drag right there. Personally, I can’t work in a messy space.

2. When you adopt a minimalist approach, you find you need less stuff. 

The more you have, the more you want. When you seek happiness and gratification in things, you can never be satisfied with what you’ve got. When you decide to only keep what you really need and use, your desire for more stuff goes out the window, and you learn to be happy with what you have.

3. It saves you time, money and energy.

When you have less stuff, you spend less time searching for things. Less time trying to figure out what to wear. Less time out shopping for new things. You also spend less. AND you have less anxiety about finding things, what to wear, what to buy, where to buy it, how much it costs, etc.

How I apply minimalism to my life

My wardrobe

Early last year, I had my friend Hannah Grey of The Clothing Cleanse help me get rid of all the clothes I didn’t wear, love or feel great in. I wrote a post about the experience here.

Having fewer clothes to choose from makes it easier for me to get dressed in the morning, as I have fewer decisions to make. Plus, it means I don’t go out mindlessly buying new clothes. Before I make a purchase, I think very carefully about what outfits it will go with. If it only works with one outfit, I don’t buy it. Being minimal with my wardrobe saves me stress, time AND money (oh, and it makes it really easy when moving house).

When I travel

I take only the bare minimum, but I make sure every clothing item matches with everything else. And if I buy anything on the road, I eliminate something else, which makes me think really hard about buying that new thing.

I don’t check in bags, so I don’t waste time waiting at the baggage carousel. Moving around is easier (no heavy suitcase to drag around), and I save money ‘cos I don’t have to pay for checked bags.

I’m also minimalist about my itinerary. I don’t try to cram multiple cities into the same number of days. I prefer to spend more time in fewer places, and really enjoy the time I spend without having to rush around to catch the next bus/plane/train to the next city I’ll only get a glance at before moving on again.

When I work

I have a minimal workspace. All I need is a laptop, phone and an A5 notepad. I work at a flexi-desk and from cafes; I don’t have a set office. Yes, I do need recording equipment for the podcast, but I leave that at home and record from home.

Want to bring some minimalism into your life?

If you’re ready to shed some of your excess baggage and clutter, a general rule I learned from Marie Kondo, author of The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up is to place your hands on each item and ask yourself: “Is this useful? Do I love it? Does it spark joy?” And if it doesn’t answer any of those questions, get rid of it!

She also says to thank each unwanted item “for its service”. Instead of thinking about what you’re ‘losing’ by getting rid of it, think instead about how it’s served you, and how it will now go on to serve someone else. And then give it away, donate it, sell it on Gumtree or whatever. You may feel anxious at the start, but once you get going, it gets easier.

And don’t feel like you have to purge everything at once. Start with your wardrobe, or your bathroom (do you have dozens of half-used moisturiser bottles?) or the old bottles of stale spices in the kitchen. And if you find yourself going “I totally forgot I had this!” or “I don’t know why we even have this!” you’ll know you’re doing the right thing. Why do you need that crap in your life?

For example, Aaron and I did a massive declutter of the kitchen over the weekend, and he found a kitchen device that turns egg and bacon into a roll. I have no idea why he has it, but it was a one-use appliance that he’s literally used once. It had to go.

We got rid of a tonne of unused stuff, and now I do a double take whenever I walk past the kitchen. It looks amazing! And now we have space for a small dining table, which I am really excited about.

It may seem like a small thing, but there’s something special, empowering and liberating about being ‘free’ from all your unused, excess crap. I highly recommend you start your decluttering journey today :)

If you need some more inspiration, check out The Minimalists podcast and blog (they have 4 million readers!) for ideas on how to make decluttering less painful. They also share a bunch of lessons on how adopting a minimalist approach to life will help you feel happier, less anxious and more abundant. 

 

You know why Crossfitters can’t stop talking about Crossfit? It’s because we’re addicted. Here’s why.

When I was at ‘Unleash the Power Within’, the Tony Robbins seminar, I learned that we all have six basic human needs. These needs are behind why we do what we do, whether it’s positive or negative.

The 6 human needs are:

• Certainty: our need to know the end result; to be certain about the future. For example, a stable job gives you certainty with your income. It’s why we eat the same foods over and over — we’re certain they’re gonna taste good.
• Variety: too much certainty means we get bored, so we also need variety in our life. It’s why we try new things, go travelling, etc.
• Significance: everyone has a need to feel important. Actors, singers and other performers generally have a high craving for significance.
• Growth: we have a need to learn and extend ourselves. It’s why we keep educating ourselves, it’s why we feel good when we learn a new skill, get promoted, etc.
• Connection/love: connection to other humans. Can be as simple as a smile or a hug!
• Contribution: giving back. It’s why we do favours for each other, it’s why people volunteer or donate to causes. we feel good when we are of service and contribute to others.

Everything we do, we do because it meets at least one of these needs. For example, if you love going to the movies, you might do it because you love the variety of the films they show, but you’re also certain you’re going to have an entertaining couple of hours. Plus, you get to connect with the people you go with.

It also works with the negative things in our life. Think about it — you might be in a job that you hate, but you stick with it because it gives you income certainty, or maybe you’re in a high position so you also have significance. 

According to Robbins, when a certain thing we do meets 3 or more of these needs, it becomes addictive.

For example, if you’re addicted to junk food, you’re likely addicted because:

1. You’re certain you’re gonna love the taste of it. Mmm, ice cream is so good…
2. There’s so much variety with what you can eat! So many ice cream flavours!
3. How great is it when you get to connect with your friends over a delicious ice cream feast! (If you’re the only one not eating ice cream, there’s an immediate disconnect between you and the group, no? That’s why it’s so hard to say no when everyone else is doing it)

I’ve since realised it’s why I’m addicted to Crossfit.

And I’m pretty sure the founders of Crossfit figured this out too. Here’s why:

1. Crossfit give me certainty. I know the classes will go for exactly an hour, and they run 6 days a week without fail. I’m certain it’s gonna be painful…but I’m also certain I’ll feel awesome after.
2. Every day we do a different workout, which adds the element of variety. I get bored very easily. I definitely couldn’t deal with the same workout every day (like Bikram yoga).
3. When I’m working out and my friends are cheering me on, I feel significant. When the coaches compliment me or say “well done”, I feel significant. When my workout partner hi-fives me at the end, I feel significant.
4. I’m constantly growing. We measure our progress, and every week I get stronger. Not only that, I’m learning about how my body works as well as having a positive mindset. Growth is a huge one.
5. Training with other people? Of course you’re gonna have connection. You can’t help but feel special when you walk into the gym and people know your name, ask about your day and are genuinely interested in what you’re up to.
6. Helping newbies out in the classes also makes me feel like I’m contributing to someone else’s growth.

So there you go. Crossfit meets ALL of the six human needs, which makes it dangerously addictive. It’s why I keep coming back to it. And it’s why it’s ruined traditional gyms for me.

What does this mean for you?

Now, we all do things that meet all six needs. Unfortunately, if we don’t know how to meet those needs in a positive way, we often do negative things instead, whether it’s smoking, overeating, over drinking, procrastinating, committing crimes, being violent, staying in an abusive relationship or shitty job, etc.

Take a misbehaving child. When she screams, she gets attention, and therefore feels significant. If she doesn’t receive positive attention when she behaves, she associates negative attention with feeling significant. So when she grows up, she plays up at school, steals things and gets in trouble — because getting attention in a negative way is the only way she knows to feel significant. Does that make sense?

So if you want to change something in your life, whether it’s a bad habit, negative behaviour or a bad relationship/job, think about the needs that thing is meeting.

Does it make you feel significant? Does it give you connection with others? Is it certain and predictable, even if it’s predictably bad? Once you’re aware of this, think about what positive activity, habit or behaviour you could replace it with.

And here’s the important part: that new thing must also meet the same needs as the old thing.

I once stopped doing Crossfit because I wanted to try pole dancing for a couple of months. Doing pole was fun, it had a lot of variety, I experienced a lot of growth, but I didn’t have the same level of connection at all. Plus, they would cancel the classes last minute, which meant it didn’t meet my need for certainty. So after my eight weeks away, I was back at Crossfit.

I strongly encourage you to think about how you meet your six human needs. Not only will it help you to change your bad habits and addictions, it will also help you to try new things that meet your needs in a positive way. And that’s an excellent start to living a happy, fulfilled life :)

I recently watched “Weird Al” Yankovic’s Word Crimes video, which is a spoof of Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines.

It’s damn hilarious. Do yourself a favour and watch it now:

One of my favourite bits:

And I thought that you’d gotten it through your skull
What’s figurative and what’s literal
Oh but, just now, you said
You literally couldn’t get out of bed
That really makes me want to literally
Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head

And this:

Say you got an “I”,”T”
Followed by apostrophe, “s”
Now what does that mean?
You would not use “it’s” in this case
As a possessive
It’s a contraction
What’s a contraction?
Well, it’s the shortening of a word, or a group of words
By the omission of a sound or letter

He goes on to sing about how you shouldn’t use quotation marks for emphasis, and how you should know the difference between irony and coincidence.

Love it.

Anyway, it got me thinking about my own word crimes.

Even though I consider myself quite apt at spelling and grammar, there are still a few words that screw me up. I’m writing this post to hopefully help myself remember this stuff!

Here we go:

Rythm..wait or is it rhythym? Arrggh. Let me try one more time…rhythm. Got it!

I used to always spell receive as ‘recieve’. Damn i’s and e’s! One way I’ve managed to remember this is to think of the ‘c’ being in an ‘e’ sandwich! Same with ‘receipt’.

I never knew how to spell ‘segue’ properly. I always thought it was ‘Segway’, but it turns out ‘Segway’ is a brand name of those silly two-wheeler transportation things. Haha.

Yaght. No. Yacht. YESSS. Such ridiculous spelling (as she types in ‘rediculous’. Turns out I’m not as good a speller as I thought…)

Up until recently, I never knew there was such thing as using a double hyphen — like that. I always used a single hyphen – like this – until my friend Erin corrected me. I learned the double hyphen is used in place of an ’em’ dash, which is a slightly longer dash that Word auto converts your double hyphen to. A single hyphen (or ‘en’ dash) is used when connecting two item for example:

Delivery will take 2-4 working days
The Oscar-winning actor
The halftime score was 3-1

And while we’re here, here are some things I hear all the time and I can’t stand:

Using “done” when you really mean “did”. For example:

I done that yesterday

Writing “would of” instead of “would have”

Using “forget” incorrectly. For example:

What’s the name of that band? I forget what they’re called

…when it should be: I’ve forgotten what they’re called

 

Anyway, I could go on, but it’s Friday night so I’m just gonna (sorry, going to) hit publish.

C ya tomoz! ;) :P :D

 

 

 

Continuing on with my movie education, I followed up Terminator 2 with The Shawshank Redemption, arguably one of the greatest modern films ever made.

***SPOILER ALERT***

In case you haven’t seen it — go on, admit it, I know you’re out there  — Morgan Freeman plays Red, a con who served 30+ years of a life sentence in Shawshank prison. At various points throughout the film, he appeals for parole.

At the parole hearing, he’s always asked the same question:

“Do you feel you’ve been rehabilitated?”

Twice, he replies with his eyes open wide:

“Oh, yes sir. Absolutely, sir. Yeah, I’ve learned my lesson. I can honestly say that I’m a changed man. I’m no longer a danger to society. That’s the God’s honest truth.”

Both times, his appeal was rejected. 

At his final appeal, they ask him the same question. And he sighs and replies:

There’s not a day goes by I don’t feel regret. Not because I’m in here, because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try to talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can’t.

That kid’s long gone, and this old man is all that’s left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It’s just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time.

Because to tell you the truth, I don’t give a shit.

His appeal? Approved. 

Two things struck me about this.

Firstly, like Red with his unsuccessful appeals for parole, when we say what we think other people want us to say, it just screams of inauthenticity. We aren’t our true selves, and as a result our words sound empty, our emotions are forced and the person listening feels like there’s something a bit ‘off’ about us — but they can’t quite pinpoint what.

Second, Red was only successful once he stopped “giving a shit”. I wrote briefly about why you need to give less of a f*ck in this post here. It’s not about caring less about your work or how you serve others. Rather, it’s about caring less about what other people think.

When you care too much about what other people think, you change the way you behave in order to appeal to them. You speak a certain way, act a certain way, dress a certain way. But it’s obvious when you try too hard, right? No one wants to be friends with the person whose behaviour screams “Will you please like me? Like me? Please? Be friends with me!! PLEASE!!”

The people I have the deepest admiration and respect for are those whose behaviour says: “This is who I am. I behave this way because this is my true self. And if you don’t like it, I don’t care. Go hang out with someone else.”

Like Red, they don’t give a shit. 

So if you’ve been unsuccessful in asking for a raise, going for a job, asking someone out, making meaningful connections etc, think about if you’ve been saying what you think they want to hear. And do you think maybe, just maybe, they hear the exact same thing from everyone else?

And wouldn’t it be refreshing — and attention-grabbing — for them to hear something different? Something that is honest, authentic and shared without any care for the end result?

My boyfriend is amazing at this. As a sales guy, he cold calls people and has the difficult job of getting past the ‘gatekeeper’ receptionists to speak to the decision maker. And I’ve heard him say things like: “Frankly, I don’t care if you put me through or not, I’m just doing the job my boss has told me to do. I’m doing this to make him happy. So if you can put me through, you’ll help me get my job done, and you’ll have done your job too.”

And you know what? They put him through.

So I challenge you to stop caring so much about your end result. Stop caring about what others think of you. And be brave enough to be authentic. Speak your truth without thinking about what they want to hear. And you may just be surprised with what happens :)